The Life-Changing Habits To Make And Break You
 |
| Pexel |
Having spent the past few years, trying out new goals and I found habits by creating different routines to optimize for productivity. A year before this pandemic, I completely shifted away from my habits altogether. I want to share the single most important habit, I've grown to understand and embrace and put into practice. And in today's post, I will be discussing goals vs systems, how to create systems, and about five things that you might think that you need, but are actually just cluttering your mind.
System vs Goals
Creating a system that works so you don't rise to the level of your goals. Today’s post will talk about the difference between a goal and a system. What is the difference between a and the systems...
For example, if your space is a mess then you'd set it as a goal to clean it and once you accomplish that goal the result you get is a cleanroom, temporarily, until it's messy again because your habits of not putting things back to where they belong haven't changed.
Output and Input
The outcome or output will always be the same. Because the system or input didn't change. So if we're able to fix the input, the output will fix itself. So, of course, it's still important to have a general idea of where we're going and where we're headed, but they take away. Is that it's less about continually putting happiness off until the next milestone.
Accomplish x y z ≠ happy
Falling into the trap, after I accomplish x y z, I will be happy and more about trusting ourselves and the process and our systems. As we are constantly fluctuating and changing it's inevitable that our habits, routines, and lifestyle will fluctuate and change as well. While some work best with a very vigorous structure, a routine that repeats itself daily.
The repertoire of positive self-care habits
Some days It may be doing all this and checking all the boxes other days it may be checking on one or two most impactful items. Sometimes what you don't do is just as important as what you do. As someone who's constantly doing and thinking many things at once.
Creating a system that works so you don't rise to the level of your goals. Today’s post will talk about the difference between a goal and a system. What is the difference between a and the systems...
A goal is a the destination of a journey and the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. And a system is a set of things working together as parts of a mechanism or an interconnecting network or a set of principles or procedures according to which something is done; an organized framework or method." It's like the saying "life isn't about the destination it's about the journey."
For example, if your space is a mess then you'd set it as a goal to clean it and once you accomplish that goal the result you get is a cleanroom, temporarily, until it's messy again because your habits of not putting things back to where they belong haven't changed.
Output and Input
The outcome or output will always be the same. Because the system or input didn't change. So if we're able to fix the input, the output will fix itself. So, of course, it's still important to have a general idea of where we're going and where we're headed, but they take away. Is that it's less about continually putting happiness off until the next milestone.
Accomplish x y z ≠ happy
Falling into the trap, after I accomplish x y z, I will be happy and more about trusting ourselves and the process and our systems. As we are constantly fluctuating and changing it's inevitable that our habits, routines, and lifestyle will fluctuate and change as well. While some work best with a very vigorous structure, a routine that repeats itself daily.
The repertoire of positive self-care habits
- Make your bed
- Brush your teeth
- Skincare
- Writing down three things I'm grateful
- Meditation,
- Reading a book,
- Art of doing nothing
Some days It may be doing all this and checking all the boxes other days it may be checking on one or two most impactful items. Sometimes what you don't do is just as important as what you do. As someone who's constantly doing and thinking many things at once.
If habits are a memory of steps that solved a problem in the past,Now that we know the importance of systems. Let's talk about how to build them. The first and most important step is to identify "What is essential?"
what problems do we to solve?"
"Absolutely necessary or extremely important."
Do you push me as hard as I did? In the past you’re prioritizing work and growth, This all started to change.
The first pillar: Nourishing Thyself
I've been hacking away at it to make time for proper meals with more nourishing whole foods and veggies and my diet. I feel more energized throughout the day mentally and physically, with the whole mind and body connection.
Making time to...
Just make time for what's essential and what's important, which is your health.
“Essentialism a belief that things have a set of characteristics which make them what they are, and that the task of science and philosophy is their discovery and expression; the doctrine that essence is prior to existence..”
Going back to our positive composition and self-care habits. I would also like to add here that you can have a composition of things you know will make you feel good, positive, happy and uplifted, and inspired.
Making time to...
Just make time for what's essential and what's important, which is your health.
“Essentialism a belief that things have a set of characteristics which make them what they are, and that the task of science and philosophy is their discovery and expression; the doctrine that essence is prior to existence..”
Going back to our positive composition and self-care habits. I would also like to add here that you can have a composition of things you know will make you feel good, positive, happy and uplifted, and inspired.
- Journaling
- Calling up a friend or family member
- Watching your favorite show or movie
Pillar 2: Spend time in the great outdoors
All say we're exploring more adventurous, more frolicking unless working along with taking better care of myself.
Pillar 3: Invest in Relationships
Also want to do a better job at being present for my friends and taking better care of my friends as well, and the capacity they want me to. Talk about things that you would like to accomplish so that we can help keep each other accountable and help each other realize your collective dreams. For example, your visions might be all pretty similar with the desire to build community, work smarter, not harder, and help each other continue using gifts to their greatest potential to help make the world just better and make sure to take notes.
So the first thing about creating a system: Identity what is essential.
The second thing: Invest in yourself.
"When we forget our ability to choose, we learn to be helpless drip by drip. We allow our power to be taken away until we become a function of other people's choices or even a function of our own past choices. In turn, we surrender our power to choose. That is the path of the nonessential list. The essentialist doesn't just recognize the power of choice, he celebrates it. The essentialist knows that when we surrender our right to choose we give others not just the power but also the explicit permission to choose for us. So, choose for yourself and choose you. We are after all our best assets, whatever that contribution may be. Whenever world we're hoping to create, we need to make an active decision to disengage so that we can engage with what's most essential. " - Essentialism
Spending time on what is essential
And... the last thing would be spending time on what is essential, make time, make time for what is most important. Dance or sing around your room and just keep saying the words "Making time."
5 Bad habits
Number one: This Is Just One Version Of You
When we're young, most of us think about what our life is going to be like when we get older at that time in our lives, we don't know much about the world or what's possible beyond what we learned from the people around us are parents, friends, and community. We also learn a lot from the things that we see on TV and the books that we read. All of these things work together to create this idea in our minds of what a good life looks like. And it goes like this: go to college, get a job meet the love of your life, have a nice wedding, have kids, work at that and good job for forty years or so, and then retire happily ever after. Those are all great milestones to hit, but this one size fits all vision of a perfect life can become a problem when it causes you to live your life along a certain path because you think you should. And when you're spending your time and energy building towards a life that you don't actually want. Guess what there isn't any space for creating a life that feels true to you.
You actually want everything from setting goals to creating daily habits that allow those goals to become a reality. But how do I figure out what I actually want? One answer is Journaling. How do you spend your time each day? What you enjoyed or didn't? What you really wanted to do but didn't. Then you can start to research alternatives to see what might be the best possible solution for your lives a week and make a shift. As a millennial, a completely different generation to live a good and happy and full life is to hit the same success markers is at the exact same time as a previous generation. It's a bit obtuse to think that, and all it does is set us up to feel like we're already failing at life when we're doing just fine when we measure our lives, by only one ruler, So just be aware of those outside influences, trying to tell you where you should and shouldn't be by now, and what your life should and shouldn't look like at any stage. Because your life and your journey are yours alone and it does not need to look like anyone else’s in order to be happy or good or successful.
Number Two: Career Path vs Degree.
We all know that the cost of college has skyrocketed over the past few decades. And so many of us are graduating with a big chunk of student loan debt. That cost and that debt can make you feel, like you, don't have a choice but to work in the field that you got your degree and because you spent all this time and all this money to get it the reasoning is if you don't work in that field, then you just wasted a whole bunch of money and that the only way to prevent that is to keep working in that field so that the costs of college was actually worth it. But that's just not true. First off know that the time and the money that you spent getting that degree almost certainly help you to grow as a person in some way, and at the very least it gave you valuable feedback that you can now use to pivot your life in the right direction. Remember knowing what doesn't work has value too. And secondly, the reality is that the amount you spent on college has already deprecated. And now the question is: what are you going to do with your life and your time going forward? Are you going to continue to use your life and time to pay for the degree that you know isn't right for you? But hasn't that's exactly what you're doing when you stay in a field that you actually don't enjoy. The better option is to cut your losses and give yourself permission to find work that you will actually enjoy. Once you know what that is, you can create a plan that lasts. To enter that new field as soon as possible, while also having a debt payoff plan in place for any remaining student loans.
Number Three: Avoiding Risk
Fear of failure is real and it's also pretty common knowledge that it never completely goes away. If you read about some of the most successful people in the world, you'll find that they have also talked about their struggles with the fear of failure. Steve Jobs has talked about how he coped with fear of embarrassment or failure. Whenever he felt fear he reminded himself that one day he'd be dead and reminding himself of the reality and finality of death helped him recognize that short of that he didn't actually have anything to lose. The truth is, if you were growing, challenging yourself, then there's going to be some risk. Risk comes with growth, and that is a normal thing. So, instead of letting that fear of risk, paralyzing him to not doing things and not growing into the life, you want to live. A better option is to learn how to change your perspective when it comes to fear. There are so many methods that you can use to retrain your mindset here. the Steve jobs approach, for example. Or one that I like to do, is play the what if the game and say, "Okay, well if I fail, What is the absolute worst thing that could happen? What is it actually happening? What would my plan of action be to recover from that? And so, then I put a plan in place that would take care of the worst-case scenario. Then it helps me feel more comfortable, taking that action and moving forward.
Number Four: People's Approval
We all want to feel loved, supported, and encouraged by the people around us. It's a wonderful feeling when we have it. But it's also true that when we share our big idea, we might not get the response or the support that we were hoping for. Not because it has anything to do with us, but everything to do with that person and their own fears and concerns. And it could very well be coming from a loving place, but still had the end result of dissuading us from following our passion and goals And as someone who has done multiple things that the people around me at the time thought were crazy or farfetched or impossible. Don't let their lack of support stop you from pursuing your passions.
Number Five: A Not So Easy Life
Ever wonder why couldn't it be as easy for me as it seemed like it was for other people. When you're pushing yourself to constantly grow in constantly improve. You're always going to feel a bit uncomfortable. It's always going to feel hard. Discomfort isn't a bad thing and it's not something that should be avoided. Learn to accept discomfort as natural, and welcome it. And it can be uncomfortable to get used to this idea of working day-to-day. You have to keep going. That is when you can start being comfortable with being uncomfortable. You can make huge strides towards the things you actually want, just by reducing your own internal resistance. And now that we've talked about creating systems not habits and five things that you might think you need but are actually just cluttering up your life and mental space. Thank you so much for reading and be sure to subscribe.
0 comments